'I downed wine while husband had heart attack then snuck vodka into hospital' (2025)

Nicky was an alcoholic and says wine and Champagne became a 'daily staple' in her life

Like most drinkers, Nicky Wake got into alcohol in her teens. She began with bottles of cider then moved on to wine and spirits. She enjoyed bars and clubs while doing well at work and, by the time she was in her thirties, was in a fast-paced, stressful role running her own successful events company. Drinking helped deal with the stress. "My life consisted of business lunches, after-work drinks and organising boozy awards shows,” the 51-year-old entrepreneur from Bury said. “Wine and champagne became almost a daily staple.“At this point I didn’t see my drinking as problematic. I was young, fairly healthy and living my best life.”In 2004 she married her best friend and soulmate Andy. They were overjoyed when they fell pregnant with their son Finn 17 years ago, though the nine months Nicky spent sober felt like the longest of her life. “I was literally counting the days till I could drink,” she said. “I remember begging Andy to bring me wine to the hospital to celebrate.“I struggled to breastfeed so fairly quickly slipped back into daily drinking in a sleep deprived haze of a new mum while struggling with postnatal depression trying to numb how I was feeling.”

The couple occasionally talked about cutting back but alcohol remained a staple in their life. "I lunched every day with wine, travelled extensively sipping champagne on business class flights and opened a bottle of wine as soon as I walked through the door after work,” Nicky said."I was definitely drinking daily, often starting at midday. Sundays were very special in our house, it was the one day I tried to not work and relax spending quality time together. Andy always cooked a legendary roast dinner and we opened the wine at lunchtime drinking steadily throughout the day until bedtime.”In 2017 they were struck by tragedy. Andy suffered a series of heart attacks, one of which saw Nicky performing CPR for 40 minutes until the ambulance arrived. “I remember as the ambulance crew took over running to the wine rack and drinking a bottle of wine to numb the shock of such a horrific experience,” she says tearfully.Andy was put into an induced coma and Nicky was left with post traumatic stress disorder. For two weeks she sat at his bedside and prayed for a miracle, while drowning her pain with vodka and diet coke that she had smuggled into the hospital. “I was drinking to get me through the day and drinking myself to sleep while my world fell apart. Thankfully my incredible network of friends and family stepped in to help with Finn and the business through some truly awful times,” Nicky explains.The family were to suffer another devastating blow when Andy was brought round and it was clear that he had suffered a catastrophic brain injury. He was unable to walk or talk and didn’t know who he was, where he was or who Nicky was. “My beautiful, wonderful husband’s life had been devastated by a terrible tragedy,” she said. “His consultant told me ‘Mrs Wake, I’m sorry but your story does not have a happy ending” and he was right.“Andy was admitted to a specialist nursing home requiring round the clock care. I entered a terrible dark period of limbo, knowing I was going to lose Andy but unsure how long this nightmare would continue. Visits to the nursing home were horrific - Andy was often angry, confused, violent, hallucinating, confused and barely ever recognised me.

“I hated every second of my life and what it had become. I started drinking heavily and daily just to get through the day, to numb the pain. I started drinking earlier and earlier. I was however a highly functioning alcoholic. I never missed a day's work and Finn was in school on time every day.“I became exceptionally good at hiding my drinking. Thankfully the business was doing well and often I was on expenses so the finances to buy wine weren’t an issue. I spent every waking hour wondering when I could drink, when was it acceptable. It was a terrible internal daily struggle.”Nicky began drinking secretly, hiding bottles, stashing vodka in coke containers and getting Ubers everywhere so she could drink throughout the day. “We went into lockdown which further enabled my drinking because we couldn’t leave the house and there was no reason to stop drinking. We couldn’t see friends or family; it was the darkest of days.”Further tragedy struck when Andy lost his life to Covid in 2020 at the age of 57. Nicky’s world fell apart yet again. “Lockdown finally ended, normality resumed but my drinking continued,” she says. “I kept trying to cut back but struggled, my anxiety and depression was unbearable.“My drinking was causing me mobility issues and panic attacks rendering me at times terrified to walk distances or leave the house. I suffered two falls resulting in trips to hospital. My confidence was at rock bottom, I was broken and depressed. I tried to go cold turkey and stop drinking which resulted in another trip to A&E.”Despite all of this Nicky never lost her ambition and work through the whole period. She turned the tragedy and adversity she encountered into something positive and set up two niche apps; chapter2dating.app and widowsfire.dating to help the widowed community find joy in their futures, both of which were a huge success.

Then in November last year, she woke up one morning and decided enough was enough. She used her private medical insurance to pay for rehab and went into The Priory where she did a medical detox and extensive therapy. “I am now 130 days sober and the happiest and healthiest I have ever been,” she says.“I am swimming daily, trying to make amends to friends and family who have been so very hurt and worried throughout the past eight years and I am trying to make up for lost time. I am more productive than ever and have channelled this new found energy and lust for life into creating my new business SoberLove.app a dating and friendship app for the sober community and the sober curious.

“For anyone who fears that perhaps drink is damaging to their health or their relationships with family, friends or lovers, I’d say if you are even thinking that then it probably is and it may be time to consider sobriety. I knew I had an addictive personality, I could never have just one so total abstinence is the only way forward for me personally. Yes it was challenging, yes it was damn hard at times but I have no regrets, stopping drinking literally saved my life, has given me a sense of hope and purpose and has improved my relationships with my son, my family and my friends immeasurably.“I thought I was beyond help but if you seek the right help and support you can do it. If I can, literally anyone can. As someone who is in recovery and understands the challenges that brings when trying to form new relationships, I hope Sober Love provides a vibrant supportive community where sober people can connect with others and find renewed happiness.”